It's a great pity that the script is technically inept and does not support the caliber of actor of Lisa McCune.

The Producers would have been better off just taking the scripts from the ABC's circa 1979 Patrol Boat and recreating the scenes. At least that script had some ripping good yarns and didn't insult the ADF-friendly viewer too much.

Here's a summary of the fopahs's and technical stuff-ups so far:

1. The Navigation Officer wears a ponytail. Plaits are bad enough, but are ponytails now accepted in the RAN? Judging by the feedback we've been getting, the answer is "yes", but the plait to the side is not an accepted "look".
   
   
2. The RAN does not use the term "hours" after date-time groups. The time is 1430, not 1430 hours. If you are trying to sell this to a Yank audience, then maybe this sin can be forgiven. I'm waiting for the episode where the time is 2400, then I'll know they are absolutely clueless.
   
   
3. The CO of the boat is a tosser.  Real RAN CO's, even on patrol boats, usually respect their XOs and let them get on with it. Most COs have been XOs, and they remember what it was like to be an XO. Yes, you may have shagged the XO during a PWO course at HMAS Watson, get over it and get a haircut, she has.
   
   
4. The CO would not usually refer to the Buffer as "Buff", unless it was a gay shower scene. Similarly, the Buffer would probably call the CO "Boss" or "Skipper", rather than "Sir".
   
   
5. It's a boat, not a ship. The CO should know better.
   
   
6. The "Nav" is a nasty bitch who should be eased over the side before episode 4. You would think that 3 or 4 years of ADFA would knock the bullshit and bitchiness out of her. But no, she's trying to drive a wedge between the XO and CO while fluttering her eyelashes at one of the troops. And the random application of lipstick and eyeliner between scenes says a lot for the director's concept of scene continuity. Maybe she's licking her lips thinking about a bit of rough trade down in the engine room?
   
   
7. How is it that once the foreign fishing vessel has burnt to the waterline and everyone has abandoned ship, that the illegal fishermen are wearing the same brand of life vests as the RAN sailors? And if they have life vests onboard, how come they didn't have a fire extinguisher in the galley?
   
   
8. When performing a tracheotomy (not tracheostomy as all the cast pronounce it), wouldn't you think to use a pen as the breathing tube rather than the barrel of a 9mm Browning pistol? The use of a pen was not even discussed even though standard military first aid training always talks about a plastic pen tube as an option. How is it that none of the crew on the beach, or the scientist, possessed a pen? Even using the plastic antenna covering from the scientist's sat-phone would have been a better option.
   
   
9. I cannot believe that there is a Seaman on the boat that has only been in the RAN for 4 weeks.  Even with accelerated recruit training, NBCD training and specialisation training he would have been the Navy for at least 14 weeks. More like 5-6 months before he got on a boat.
   
   
10. The scene when the sailors and fishermen were waiting for the Noah's to eat them was not credible.  They were obviously in about 1 metre of water.  You could see the sand in the water as it swirled around them. Note to Director, if you want credible deep water shots, put your actors in deep water.
    
    
11. Why is it that in all military dramas from Hunt for Red October to Sea Patrol the comms geek is the most credible player? In this series the navy communications rating has more situational awareness and more mature leadership than all of the rest combined. He knows the big picture, he knows the details, and he can suggest the next action to take. I suspect that a specialist NCO was hired to write his script.
    

Apparently Sea Patrol the most expensive Australian drama production of all time at something like $600,000 per episode. It's a pity they didn't spend some of that cash on hiring a good script writer and some technical specialists who knew what they are talking about. Note to future technical directors: don't hire ex-officers as advisors, hire ex-NCOs. Officers will tell you what you want to hear, NCOs will tell you the truth.

The good things about this series is the filming and the location. Good, solid cinematography backed by breathtaking North Queensland locations.

Will I watch the next episode?  The short answer is "yes". It can only get better and I like to take the piss. And besides, I've run out of episodes of the pommy series Ultimate Force and Spooks. If you want to see a really good script, download Traveler using bittorrent..

Here's a prediction, episode 5 of Sea Patrol will be where it jumps the shark.

Come back for a review of episode 2 on Friday. I just can't wait.

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++++ Episode 2 Review ++++