Unlike the
RAN and Army, the RAAF do not have as much trouble recruiting and
retaining officers and troops. Maybe it’s due to their new series of
bumber stickers?
1. Air Force - If its too hard, contract it.
2. Air Force - It doesn’t suck as much as the Army or Navy.
3. Air Force - Because I wasn’t into swimming, bastardization or dressing like the KKK.
4. Air Force - Because I had a sense of humour.
5. Air Force - Civilians in uniform!
6. Air Force - 8 to 5, Monday to Friday.
7. Air Force - If you think trained monkeys can do our job…..you’re right.
8. Air Force - Learn a trade. One day you might want a real job.
9. Air Force - Beats working!
10. Air Force - Its not a joke. No, really!
11. Air Force - Our clowns have more medals than Ronald McDonald.
12. Air Force - Where the frontline is at Frontline!
13. Air Force - Our chicks are better looking and mainly straight.
14. Air Force - We won’t make you walk to war.
15. Air Force - Because the Magistrate said it was this or jail.
16. Air Force - Thief is such an ugly word, we prefer Creative Acquisition Specialists.
17. Air Force - Yeah, we think ADGies are “special people” too.
18. Air Force - If you’re in it for the money…..quit!
19. Air Force - What are IR laws???!!
20. Air Force - Prozac helps.
21. Air Force - Flying your dollar further.
22. Air Force - You too can be a tool on MySpace.
23. Air Force - Who gives a shit?
24. Air Force - If you wear Rayban “Aviators” trying to look like Maverick, we’ll bitch-slap you!
APPLICATION FOR AUSTRALIAN CITIZENSHIP
THE MONKEY STORY
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, an officer from the local RAAF base came in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll take one of those monkeys, please".
The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and lead on the animal and handed it to the officer saying, "That'll be $2000, please."
The officer paid and left with the monkey.
The surprised tourist went up to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a special 'Technician' monkey; he can rig aircraft flight controls, pass the RAAF fitness test, set up a perimeter defence and perform the duties of any Warrant Officer with no back talk or complaints. it's well worth the money."
The tourist then spotted another monkey in another cage. "That's even more expensive! $10000!! What does it do?", he asked.
"Oh, that one", replied the shopkeeper. "That's an 'Engineer Officer' monkey. He can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at Unit, intermediate and Depot level and even does all the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed."
The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. This time the price tag was $50000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than the other two combined! What in the world can it do?"
"Actually," said the shopkeeper," I've never really seen him do anything but drink beer, play with his dick and wind-up the other monkeys, but his papers say he's a Pilot."
Military Humour
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.